Miscellany #7
Finances, A Book Affair, Parenthood
Hi there.
Since I last visited your inbox, it has been go go go over here. Our time in Greece, was lovely, and I’ll share a picture interlude from our visit later. As soon as we returned, I had a big, complicated photo shoot here in Zürich to prepare for, then execute. (It went great, happy to say, and more to come.)
Immediately following that, AB was off to CA and I had nine days of parenting solo, with evenings spent entering what us photographers sometimes call “the editing cave.” In between, I caught a nasty cold. Which already came and went by the time I got this newsletter ready to send.
Currently, I’m still in the editing cave for my client Mesme—launching soon, stay tuned—though I can see light through the cracks. I will emerge soon. Just in time to prepare for another big shoot on Monday for Intwine. Thus, I get to repeat my mantra du jour, “Gee, I’ve been busy.”But I must admit, being occupied with photo shoots, editing, and WORK in general feels good. I like my scales of parenthood and creative entrepreneurship to be in balance. Rather than teetering back and forth. It is an adjustment for me. In the past I always had whatever time I wanted to take on work, staying up late to power through. Now I have a three year old and that time is strictly segmented. Fingers crossed for more of this equilibrium.
Earning Overseas
Life as an expat is often great, really great. And if it’s something you are contemplating, I highly recommend not thinking too hard and taking that leap. However, there is one sticky little fact of living overseas (as an American) that SUCKS and it is the certainty of US Taxes. Even if you earn not one single iota of income in the US, because you are a US citizen, you must file US taxes. Unlike almost every other country out there, the US likes to tax its citizens who live abroad on the income they earn there. Yep! Americans are taxed on their worldwide income. Let it sink in. If you have investments—because you smartly wish for the money you earn to work hard for you, and understand it is wise to plan for your future, and why wouldn’t you—this is even stickier.
Recently, I have become more invested in my own financial planning, and am keen to explore a path forward where I am in more control of my portfolio. It stemmed from a Women in Finance event I helped put on through Boss Ladies Zürich and Action for Women last March. But perhaps the soft power financial prowess of this country is also rubbing off on me.
Last week, I attended two finance workshops. The first, with the incredible Nadine Hunkeler was sponsored by our Boss Ladies group, and covered investing and financial planning. The second was a two day virtual workshop on Women Who Invest by the amazing Cristina Jaeger, where we discussed and learned how to create our own wealth-building plans over two days. I think my husband is secretly thrilled I am finally caring more about our long term financial plans. But also, I want to take agency over my own finances rather than sitting back and hoping. Or worse, doing nothing.
I had so many great takeaways from both of these workshops, but one of the biggest is just how difficult it is to invest as an American living abroad because of the tax regulations. Not to mention the reporting requirements. Essentially, it can easily not be worth it, because you will be taxed to such a degree and with such complicated filing rules, that it negates your earnings. Most financial advisors here won’t even touch Americans. As I navigate this new reality I may pop back and forth to talk about it, but if you have information on it, please do pass on.
So, while living overseas is wonderful, in many myriad ways, it has it’s tricky little downsides, too.
Cafe Dates
The other day, I took myself out to a very cozy cafe tucked into the hillside of a darling neighborhood here in Zürich. It reminds me of my favorite parts of Berlin, that feel like home to me. Mismatched furniture. Lush homemade cakes and superb coffee. Low ceilings, warm lights, a leafy up and down patio, leading to a sort of wonky cottage masquerading as a cafe. The kind of place where, in a cozy mystery, you’d expect the eccentric great aunt to reside with several cats and lots of books. I truly love this place. And it shall remain nameless for now. Sorry.
I took myself out with a book to simply sit and read. Have a cappuccino and slice of cake. Really lovely lime cheesecake if I’m honest. I needed to sit under the trees and just be away from home and the trappings of domesticity. Even though the cafe isn’t particularly close by, as soon as I got there I let out a big sigh and settled into the warm embrace of a solitary, tactile pursuit.
Cafe dates like this are actually really important to my mental wellbeing, I’ve come to understand. Simply stepping away can be enough of a reset to pull me out of a mental downward spiral. I like being there on my own. I like to indulge in reading quietly for a bit. I like to see what other people there are like, what they wear, who they are with, how they order, and what they discuss, and imagine stories about them. I like a bit of nothing and no one. To let my mind wander, between sips, unhurried.
Reading Instead of Scrolling
Aside from learning about how my nationality affects my investments, I am reading novels. So many novels. This trend has been happening for a while already, but I’ve been on an honest-to-God book bender. We have graduated from a lost weekend, to a full on summer romance, books and I. I think I’m in love.
First, I’ve given myself permission to read whatever I fancy, and whatever I’m feeling in the moment. Without hesitation. I tried Orbital and I liked it, but I also got bored and did not finish. At another time in my life without so many daily tiny interruptions, I might have devoured it. But not right now. So I put it down and picked up something else. I started another one—promising and clever, that had been in my possession for at least six years, ready and waiting. But I just wasn’t feeling it, so I put it down, too. And quickly picked up something else.
Second, I’ve been persistent about starting a new book as soon as I finish the last. I used to wait between books, but now I don’t. Momentum plays a part. Once I am sufficiently interested in the novel, I want to read it all the time and reach for it. Now, I’m in a bigger hurry to reach that stage.
Most importantly, I pick up a book instead of my phone. And I think you should try it. In the kitchen waiting for the water to boil, on the street, waiting for the tram. Especially at night. Instead of grabbing my phone ostensibly to look something up or play Wordle, but accidentally get sucked into the endless scroll of whatever current crisis we’re facing. Mostly. I try. I try really hard. And I think you should try it too.
If you read my newsletter regularly, you know I recommend books all the time. The latest I just finished is called The Wedding People by Alison Espach and it was actually fantastic. So much going on. So much nuance. Really well paced. Excellent. No wonder it’s a bestseller!
When I am absorbed in it, a good book makes the lure of the phone less tantalizing. Has my social media input withered? Is my LinkedIn profile flagging? (Was it ever dynamic?) Are my IG messages often unanswered? Yes, yep, jawohl. But it’s ok. Believe or not, I feel better spending less time with the news these days. Being informed is good. Being depressed is not.
On Parenting
For me the aspect of parenting that was hardest to both understand and appreciate was not what I expected. I don’t resent the time I spend at home doing bath time instead of sipping a martini with a friend in a cozy bar. The hard part for me is simply the marathon of it all. You must go and go and go and go and go, and go again the next morning. And the next. And again the next.
After days of this, then months, and then, yes, years, all of the going and going and going without really stopping. Not really. After the hours become years, you begin to truly realize that this is just your life now. And it is not not wonderful. All those beautiful small moments of living—of lifting her out of the bath to wrap the towel around, of carrying her sleeping to her own bed, of her falling asleep in a quiet dark room pressed against you and quietly saying, I love you mama, of rearranging a million stuffed animals every time you make her bed, of the endless bowls of oats, of flour all over the kitchen making pizza, of dance parties in the kitchen, of Bluey and Moana and Peppa and Frog & Toad, of tickle jumps, of cackles of laughter, infinite pushes on the swing, of happy faces and sad faces and silly faces, of saying pay-toh for tomato, and of walking everywhere with her little soft hand in mine—they are what make it all worthwhile. The in between day to day moments, that are disguised as nothing, but are actually everything. They add up to be the most precious of all.
But still, it is a marathon. A relentless journey of sacrifice, worry, of her pain being greater than your own pain, and putting her needs before everything else. That goes and goes and goes and goes. And keeps going. Each day, and again the next. And you keep going. Because at the same time you realize that this is your life now, you realize that this is your life now. Your big beautiful busy life. And you wouldn’t want it not to be. Not even for a moment. All this beauty and love and all the little moments, added up. The in between things are actually the best things. Even though it takes a lot of going going going to get them.
Welp. That’s it for now. It’s rather shameful how long ago I started this quick update and how much time has passed since I got photos added and cleaned it up enough to feel good about hitting ‘publish.’ Even though there is always one or two glaring errors I read as soon as that is done. Eek. At least you can be assure this isn’t authored by ChatGPT.
Thanks so much for reading Photographer’s Miscellany. I love that you’re here. If you enjoyed this missive, and would like to keep up with me, please share, subscribe or close your eyes and envision me, calm and happy, surrounded by healing, white light.
Coming soon I’ve got…
Behind the Scenes at my Photo Shoot for Kula
A recap of an amazing textile exhibit I saw at the Museum für Gestaltung Zürich
Storytelling in Travel Photography - a continuation of the series
Photos from our recent visit to Naplio, Ermioni & Hydra in Greece
…and of course more nice things I feel like sharing
Thank you for being here and for reading!
